Why Suffer? Pt. 1

"...If anyone desires to come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me." Matthew 16:24

Um... why?

Why, Jesus?

I've been thinking a lot lately on the nature of the "Christian walk" (as well as how more and more annoying all this Christian terminology is becoming to me). You hear a lot about how hard it is. "It's not easy... It's a hard life, following Christ," and all that jazz. Well, life is hard, with or without Jesus. I understand that much. I'm certainly not so naive as to believe that life is supposed to be a cakewalk as soon as one "accepts Jesus Christ into one's heart as one's personal Lord and Savior." But I do grow rather weary of frequent--if well-intentioned--emphasis on the difficulty of walking with Christ.

Living a life of any kind of principle, amidst what is understood to be a fallen and corrupted world, is expected to be full of trial and adversity. But what's the fine line between suffering for Christ's sake and living life more abundantly?

The big question I'm getting at is: if Jesus suffered and died for my sins, why do I have to suffer, too? I thought Jesus did all the work on the cross? I thought "Jesus paid for it all?" What exactly does that mean?

He also said his "yoke is easy" and his "burden light?" What does that mean if we have to endure all this terrible shit in the process of walking after Him?

I've probably said nothing. I know I sound pretty naive and whiny right now, but I think it's a legitimate question. Look at the Prophets: God pounds a message over their heads and makes them go out in hostile mission fields, warning the Israelites about the destructive results of their sinful ways. What a miserable fucking existence. I mean, honestly. Yeah, I know our hearts are supposed to be toward the Kingdom and all, but--and I'm gonna say this frankly--what's in it for us?

I know, I know--eternal life and all. But God, if He's there, is asking a lot of us. One thing I find reassuring is this: in Luke 14, when Jesus is telling His disciples that they must forsake all others in order to follow Him, He gives the parable of one building a tower, who counts the cost before He builds it. I'm glad that's in there, because it's an apt description of what I've been doing, lately. I'm counting the cost. What is Jesus worth for me to just give up everything and follow Him?

I know this sounds like a stupid, if not blasphemous, question for a supposed Christian to ask, but really. What is the Kingdom, what is eternal life, who is Christ, who is God, where is God, that He and they are all worth me tossing away everything? I'm not going to give up anything if I'm not gaining anything. Color me selfish, but that's the truth. Paul had to know that when he was getting his ass kicked all around the Roman Empire trying to preach the Gospel of Christ; Stephen had to know that when he was getting bashed with stones; and the Prophets had to have known that when they were spouting cursings and warnings to the people of Israel (probably, most of the time, just to get God off their back).

I dunno. I think I've rambled. If any of this looks remotely coherent (or even if it doesn't--heck, especially if it doesn't--feel free to drop a line)

Later's, folks.

God bless.